And along the way ...

verse, poetry and other creative writings

© 2024 Iony Smith

(Collection of bits and pieces, streams, dreams, hits and misses - finished and unfinished and to be continued, as in still percolating)

Let's begin where we never end ... along the way ...

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… a withering way, now tucked neatly in the lower-level of my final resting, surrounded by what seems to be a kind enough neighborhood of earth worms and assorted other smallish characters, gazing upwards from my certain repose, what if I had lived one more day … to live another day. (2024)

the primary difference between life and death is breath, with the most extraordinary one the first and last. (2022)
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out of now coming, to somewhere going, finding our way is less certain on the linear plane as discovery, when reached, has no need for direction on the wings of the transcendent soul or more simply, carrying of the eternal flame, (2023, rev 2024)

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I'm Not

I’m not getting any younger but no one else is either. (2023)

I'm not getting any funnier but everyone else seems to be laughing ... (2024)

I'm not going to guess what to say next other than to just say it without regrets ... (2024)
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Let the light in ... embrace the value of penumbras and the absolute necessity of darkness - then act on your convictions, to death as may be required and to life ultimately - until that option is no longer if that's even possible in the moment of existing. (2023)

I've been doing this gig for longer (almost) than I can recall how and when it began, early I know, elementary school or even before - I have certain memories, later becoming written words, such as playing doctor and nurse with my first, young girlfriend in a field of mustard weeds. She was five I was four, was this when the imagination unfolded into decades of creating the free burning sensate confetti ... a poem, a song a painting an elevating thought raising the spirit high ... if you remember something you read, hear and/or see on my websites or just take one piece (peace) with you on your way out or upon returning, be it a tune you found yourself humming, a visual rendering or images leaving an impression, or words that hover around in your own, unique and fertile fields, drop a coin or a zillion of them ... in the end, we all end up the same, or so I surmise.

don’t ever try to get the jump on nature, that leaf appearing to be doing push ups is a lizard - a little native exercise to appear larger to those perceived as threats. However, I saw no other reptilian forms in the neighborhood so I guess this exhibition was for me, as a threat … thank you, Mister lizard (2023)

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to persuasively express oneself is to impassion and imbue with the flame of conviction ... (2022)
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No thought is so simple to evade the cusp of a potential dilemma, however, frequently, this (the dilemma) is where awareness is enhanced and ironically, simplicity becomes a natural progression towards greater consciousness. (2021)

the sound of noise when taken away ... can be ear shattering.

I was in my sophomore (junior?) year of undergraduate studies (1971-72). I believe as my memory revisits, doing an assignment on a 'special tomb' in one of the science classrooms on campus. It was essentially a walled off area where extreme acoustics had been applied to dampen (remove) most sound (as we know and/or are exposed to everyday). The student engineer (or professor, can't recall?) when inviting me into this 'chamber', cautioned that when closing the door of this 'quiet room', I might experience some equilibrium issues (w h a t ?).

Sure enough, when the door was closed and sealed shut as part of its design, I reached for my ears and covered them as if I had heard a loud, blast ... however, it was simply my auditory sense contending with the removal of most audible sounds (noise). The extreme quietness was a jolt to my sensory system never before experienced - and of course, a check on the usual noise (normalized) every day ... some pleasant; birds singing, a sweet whisper in the ear and some not so, a jackhammer, chain saw or even crows with their persistent, caw caw caw ... in the background. (2023)

so I say to my neighbor,

“not sure the analogy fits, but climate change is in its nuclear (and global) explosion phase and the residual consequences will continue for thousands of years - for perhaps the greatest challenge yet to the tenacious cockroaches. For the lesser survivable humans, that rising and setting sun may only occur for those believing in the here after.”

My neighbor says, “hum, nuclear explosion … gotta love those cockroaches.” (2023)
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History for the unadulterated becomes the great leveler in setting misguided notions straight from their originally embellished or fabricated narratives. (2021, rev 2022)
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(Ukraine - Russia) To fall prey to war's ravages and choosing sides as if spectator sport, is a very strange dynamic indeed. Cheering when one side (your mascot) is winning by virtue of the number of bodies fallen, touted so casually not just in the news but in our own conversations, returns us to earlier school days where from the bleacher's perch we sat, chanting and energized with, root root root for the home team. (2023)

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THEN, it becomes a body count and no side nor any treaty can resolve how not to kill one without ending the life of a succession of others. It's this succession that hardens the soul into trying an escape hatch for another beginning not too long ago before this devastation began, when death was not so surreal to indeed think it cannot possibly be real. For any and all current armed conflicts, each and all with their supported justifications ... yet without an explanation on how many more lives should perish before attrition becomes the final score (2023).

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pushing back sometimes, is the only direction forward. (2021)
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YOU respecting human rights and removing the veil of ignorance and indecency. Can YOU, will YOU point the finger to say it is Y O U causing the discrimination, the vitriolic speech turning to deeds of destruction and mayhem. Another serial killing based on color coding, gender or orientation cleansing or the sense of cultural superiority and hate ... it is YOU who thinks of others as not of equal worth to YOU and for this, I cannot be tolerant of YOU but must stop YOU from yourself. (2022)

we are an extremely violent society coupled with a deep desire to love and be loved; perhaps it’s the seeming inability to fulfill and embrace the latter that produces the former? (2015, 2020)

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If talk is cheap what is the worth of actions ? (2021)
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trust runs as deep as water can flow (2020)
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To be deceived is part of learning how not to be ... (2019)
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https://tboneburnett.com/when-einstein-met-chaplin/

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babble, fine line between genius and insane … both outliers … (2023)
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"To give the ancient trope a modern context, consider the words of Robin Williams, whose suicidal death in 2014 was precipitated by Lewy Body Dementia: “You are only given a little spot of madness, and if you lose that, you are nothing.” "(https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-hidden-habits-genius/202009/is-there-thin-line-between-genius-and-insanity)
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NOW, we're all paying the price for not trusting one another, including those who lead us or try to appear to be in the lead - are we stealing our own souls? (Covid-19 mirroring, May-2020)

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When in the forest or other natural habitat, the key is to be ... without editorializing. (2020)

a lone, peacock's call (2021, about a mile away from where recorded)

there are no boundaries to creativity, except for those we impose upon that space ... essentially, a beginning and an ending become arbitrary points in time for marking these limitations. Yet upon observations or interaction from others to (and of) these creations, the expanse returns to its origins of the boundless. (2020)

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ant in tiny space
    eons of evolution
        joyful crawl serene (2022)

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shifting four seasons
    flights of a moving spirit
        resoundingly free (2022)

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above, traditional Japanese Haiku and variations on the theme

... and until the rhythmic, mesmeric pattern of the digits blinking one after another, gives way to jolting the sensibilities to a more solemn realization that this is one of those truths you don't want to believe ... but also know, can never abandon, deny or fail to engage in an upgrade for understanding what appears initially, to be unfathomable. (2022) watching numbers rise such as these,

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and ... more on numbers but a different kind of truth to test the mettle ...

Whoa to those not taking a stand for what they believe with both the humility and fortitude to know when what they believed, was wrong then and even more wrong now. (2020)

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will life's energy or death's pull lead the way ... I'm not waiting around to find out ... (2022)

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the tree limbs quiver
as deep watering enlivens their stay
brownish leaves synthesize to a greener darker shade

the burning rays of the sun for now passing away
tempered by the liquid's cooling of its veins
another cycle of nature and its linking chain (2011)

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Democracy, playing out similarly perhaps to an accordion but rather than with tones in frequencies, the movement and sounds of voices expanding and contracting (participation and the fight and struggle to not be excluded) - an incorporation of necessity and expedience. And as asked many times before in the history of what began as a model of fairness for regulating and providing order to/for the many, yet frequently practiced from an elitist orientation, can a people rule themselves without destroying that which they've created for such governance? A model (as its people) perpetually in flux, just as is in the most elevated of spiritual reconciliations.

With the rhetoric and demonstrations competing for space in our ears and minds, percolating and imprinting a decisive path forged by a powerful minority with a willing yet skeptical majority, what then will become the critical actions in policy to move the enterprise steps forward on the spiral stairway of democracy? (2020, 2022)

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The holidays without COVID,

maybe next year, maybe not ... anyone know a good joke like when waking up this morning stumbling out of bed and skating across the floor, stepped on a hard, dog bone treat and almost pooped /// hopped on one leg and one foot to the bathroom and looked into the mirror /// saw a black mask stuck on my chest ... I screamed, then laughed, hell, this thing may always last ... and my behavior has changed in ways I will never comprehend /// that's not so funny but the illusion of a bat and its membranous wings clamped on my chest, I think was /// offering a peek into what might be fitting someday for an epitaph, you can't die laughing, only when you stop. (2021)

[above was written and posted just a few days before another, troubling 'new' variant surfaced on the continent of Africa - several countries (including the U.S.) instituted travel bans to and from the infected regions - an update, as if one was really needed (yes it is, thank you), today [2022 June] the omicron variant, with an interesting twist as conveyed in one, daily newspaper "the COVID virus (new lineages of the omicron)is switching strategies: It’s becoming a master at slipping past our immune systems ..." full stop ... until the next variant arrives.
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waves-2

Yet, how the mind will filter into oblivion, that which proves false to what one believes, yet not strive to the same lengths to prove true when it is (Nov-2020).

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to be thankful is to embrace the value of living through giving ... (Thanksgiving, 2019)
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deep, deeper and deepening ... like the crescendo of the crickets as they in chorus, bid farewell to the dusk of twilight. (2020)

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Spent the first half of my life remembering now during the second half, forgetting ... then remembering. So I forget but then remember, yet also thankful for what I need to know is generally what I remember and cannot complain, or apologize for what I don't. Yet, I still get a good rise when discovering the movie I'm currently watching, was the same one I streamed but a few months ago ... I would be more concerned had I not remembered, not that I forgot. (2019)

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How long can a dream be sustained - not the slumbering kind, but those redeemed and revisited from slices of another time, fully awake, conscious and sound. (2001, 2019)
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We’re history unfolding (or unraveling), where anti-social is a socially prescribed behavior to keep society safe - topsy turvy, just like the virus spawning such imponderables. (sentiments to my brother, Nov-2020, in the throes of COVID)

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Why is it when a famous person says something it seemingly has more weight than if the same words or expression were uttered by that same person before their public notoriety - what does fame have to do with the substantive elements of human sentiment?

Must I be famous to enlarge the social influence and impact of my words, deeds and demonstrations or am I as effective by connecting with one other human; deeply, memorably and transformationally? (2019)

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some might suggest, words are not actions, yet actions ultimately, cannot succeed without words.

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floating, lofting, breezing through
remnants of a spider's thin thread flying softly through

touched down on my hand first, then sailed on through
touched down next, slowly but certainly to the ground and it was through (2012)
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an angel on my shoulder, light, lithe and full of brightness
on the other, a blighted soul downcast, somber of sadness
two shoulders, one body on diverging paths (2014, 2019)

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Here, sitting in the pose of Rodin’s Thinker, to what I dismissed as misguided rhetoric, now seemingly becoming manifest in the ills and eventual trials of a society. What role did I play in this trajectory, at times seemingly in demise, the farce that was real - a weight so heavy no one escapes alive, yet, will do almost anything to survive - one more day, one more hour and for some, a minute too much to bear.

All who care to fathom not what, why or how we did what we did or what we do, but rather, were and are the other choices so vile and repugnant so as to provide no better path? Had those other presumably intolerable options been (or are) selected, our time, now shortened by thousands if not hundreds of thousands of years, would have been sustained beyond, beyond what is not for me to know but certainly, to care about as much as the air still available to breathe - moving forward with cleaner hands would appear to be the only option remaining.

If the choices we did make and the actions we did take, were somehow beyond our wherewithal to reconcile, I guess that becomes our resolve, however difficult it might be to witness and surmise.

A species, any and all have little if anything to do with their beginnings so would not it only be on the side of equitable distribution, to also have very little if any control over ending?

What life and in what form will supplant or develop from our waste and squander and how then will what we could not accomplish, be reached to new heights by that which is learned from our fateful decisions?

Who will find solace and take consolation in blaming others for what we could not do together, as it was this very separateness freezing us in time, until for all of us, no time remained. (2016, 2019, 2021)

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(rewriting ourselves) What if we could rewrite our life would we? The crafted, inspired words would have to be true as the requirement would be no less a rediscovery of what we do to become who we must be in essence, exercising our greatest potential as a human in being that which fits into the universe, the chaos and the peace, the known, unknown and to be found and fulfilled. . We then would become through such expressions, a soul transcending on a trajectory of energy unleashed yet joined with a common purpose with all other matters that exist in fact without conclusion yet continue on and on. (2019)

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We can try to soften and revise history to something other than what it was, but the consequences in fact, are indisputable. (2019)

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(setting sun) The coolness on my shoulders tells me the sun is setting now - not much of a breeze to move the stream yet the warmth is now receding into another day's end in this part of the hemisphere. I've gone back and forth in marking my life from the beginning and ending of each day and as often as possible, placing myself in the glow of the setting sun and while no less exalting, yet far less frequent, its rising. From my working years seeing mostly sunrises to my retiring days where the setting sun almost always leads the way - adjusting to the solar clock, my senses inform me this is life unfolding as it should.

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Unaccompanied

In the fading early twilight, quietly standing over the pond I saw both my rippling reflection and the lone fish returning a stare. Feeling cheerless I wondered if this Koi had any association with what we humans call loneliness or a sense of estrangement or ennui?

Swimming and moving heedfully through the liquid environment its breathing silent to the world and yet the cries of desperation were heard, I'm sure, from here, not so many years ago when the current survivor, lost its mate. An opossum, raccoon or even coyote, stealthily navigating and breaching what we now know was a superficial netting erected to prevent this very occurrence.

The predator eviscerated this helpless and now hapless companion. Evidence to support what I did not see take place, were bone and spine fragments somewhat neatly placed thirteen yards away.

The apparent trauma for the remaining fish lingered for years as its behavior would demonstrate, going into a frenzied state whenever someone (or something) walked (or stalked) however quiet near its domain. From this sanctuary and easing itself into the darkest crevice available for concealment, the Koi's vibrant orange markings morphed to tones of the mossy green water, gurgling through the filtered pond.

Most organisms living together and generally having regular contact with either another of its kind or others of a different, colonize. Yet, some by choice (or necessity) or circumstances become marooned as it were, isolated and perhaps, alienated. The image of solitary man or solitary woman living in the wilderness or apart from its societal moorings, invokes a powerful sense of being. A deprivation in human connectivity, yet a potential opportunity for fulfillment unlike any available when embedded in the community or what further might be appended modernity.

Being alone is not the same as feeling lonely although their paths can and frequently do cross, just as in the midst of a crowd or even a group of friends, the sense of isolation or estrangement can take over the moment even when together - I guess I find this analogues as to this fish, resting in its pool of solitude for years now, moving about, receiving its periodic (but regular) feeding and for the most part, unaccompanied, alone.

Fast forward several years, as we exchange and level our glance, I sense the Koi is also connecting. No longer frantically seeking cover or perhaps I’ve learned how not to arouse its threatened instincts. It would appear we both are welcoming the company of each other, unaccompanied yet meaningfully absorbed with indeed, another (2016, 2019).
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Keep bad days at bay ...
stay on the upside of sad ...
keep good moments near ...
stay away from hearsay ...

keep spirits high ...
stay while it lasts ...
keep enjoying the gifts ...
stay until it's time to say goodbye ...
(2019).

to say goodbye ...

truth must always be questioned but never denied. (2019)

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let me reach the evening time
    and then I’ll go into full stride
the days I wallow too deep and too long
    the night seems to cool and renew

some like the day, cold or hot
    I seem to follow the setting sun
fading to black settles my ways
    what I can’t see, I can’t confuse (2015)

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my failure is not doing what I profess
my success is to keep trying (2019)

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intent is selective and thus by choice, accident is purely happenstance - can't say 'sorry' if intended. (2019-20)

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Would I choose if I could, to time machine back to my teens, seeing more rainbows and silver linings ... hopes with dreams that have a chance of becoming ... less somber and more giddy with joy ... I think not, my teens as I recall, were heavier weights to lift and lacking the insights accompanying the adding of years ... now give me the body of my teens and that, I might choose over the increasing curvature of my spine as I am forced to see the ground from ever shortening heights, where I will return just as from where I began. (2020)

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a dream of sorts ...

A social gathering for a small concert perhaps, hundreds of people to the best of my recall. I'm fumbling for the covid mask and in frustration can't find it - a typical framing on the cusp of a nightmare, mine frequently having to do with being lost, getting lost or feeling lost.

In my hazy reverie I look around and find myself at the end of a line with an orderly but anxious crowd ahead of me snaking up, then down stairs to whatever event is awaiting.

In disbelief, I notice NO ONE is wearing MASKS, not ONE person ... perhaps I missed a recent news flash?

In an Edvard screech for all to hear, "what's with no masks ..." . Yet the people unmoved, continue in their organized way going up and down the stairs - "it's over, it's over ..." almost under their breath I barely but clearly hear in whispered tone, "it's over, it's over."

And then I wake up.

There will be that day when me, you or someone else(s) shouts out "it's over, it's really over".

Yet, not yet and shall I add, it's here to stay regardless of its current perceived deescalation - will the triage over the last two plus years be formulated into an effective community plan, when the next pandemic comes bouncing down its stairs ... (Dec-2020, rev 2022, 2023)

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When the center of a joke, I sometimes laugh often and with great vehemence and approbation ... joining a tribal ritual that which we all participate, the clowning of clowns. And, when realizing (discovering) what was upon a second evaluation mean spirited and poorly cloaked as humor and, as I feel both the cutting and thrusting of these pitched and pointed stingers, I retreat, then rebel. When rebelling, I'm prepared to battle if but in dueling dialogue, hopefully polite enough yet my defenses now are circling to stop the bleeding of such banter and perhaps, to inflict my own sense of being hurt upon others, those that speak in such cavalier terms. That's the punchline to these kinds of jokes intentionally led astray, laugh at yourself when it's your turn, but never when it's not - for me now, to practice what I've preached. (2023)

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